When a loved one passes away, kids often have a strange response. They don’t seem upset. “Going into pretend mode and acting like nothing is wrong helps them cope with their grief,” says Barbara Brooks, Ph.D., coauthor with Paula M. Siegel of the Scared Child: Helping Kids Overcome Traumatic Events: To comfort a child:
●Sanction Sadness. Reassure your child that his feelings are normal and that he will feel better in time.
●Reminisce. Talk about qualities of his grandmother he appreciated, activities they enjoyed doing together, a favorite trip. If a child is reticent, “drawing pictures can help him express feelings,” says Brooks.
●Discuss What Would Make Him Feel Better. Suggest placing a framed picture of the beloved relative in his bedroom or making a donation to that person’s favorite charity.
●Ask For A Hug. It will be reassuring to him to know that you’re also sad—and that he can give you a boost.
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